You’re a Winner!

My brother just passed this video along to me, and it’s quite funny:

Things are going pretty good. I’ve been having an actual vacation the past couple of weeks, now that I have a job to go to starting Monday. Getting together in person with friends one last time, visiting with my mom, that kind of stuff. I’ve also been getting things together for a home office…I’ll be doing some telecommuting for this job.

It feels good to be spending money right now, although a little scary. But I’m doing it anyway. I had enough severance left to set up the office, and I keep thinking that the stuff I buy represents someone’s job. I clamped down so tightly on my spending when I saw that I was likely to get laid off–I had to brace. But now I’m trying to do some reasonable spending. I know one person doing that isn’t even a drop in the bucket, but it’s all I can think to do. Hopefully other people who feel more secure are doing the same. There are definitely some great deals out there right now, too, and I’m buying little extras I normally wouldn’t get with some of the savings.

I’m both excited and nervous about my new job. Mostly excited, though. My brain is turning to mush with all this time on my hands. I was extremelly stressed for most of this time, so it was exhausting. As a result, I really didn’t do all the things I thought I’d do if I were laid off–some deeper cleaning of my house, writing, etc.

I’m glad I had a little time after the offer to unwind, although I’m also kind of bored. So getting down to work and taking my place on a team Monday will be nice. I like having work to do. It’s not just the income. It’s feeling like I’m part of something and becoming good at what I do.

Remind me of this when I’m stressed out by work and wish I had time off again!

And that’s the thing I’ve learned from this layoff. I am no less happy without a job than with one. I’m no less stressed without a job than with one. It’s just life, and life comes with a certain amount of stuff, both good and not so good. So I’d rather be working. Yup, it’s going to feel good to be back and engaged with something again.

The Post I’ve Been Hoping to Make

I got a job!

Yes, you read that right. Through some amazing twist of fate, I have landed a job in spite of the economy. I start on May 18th, which is exactly 3 months after getting laid off from my old job. I’m extremelly excited about it, too. This isn’t a “Well, the economy is bad so I’ll take what I can get” kind of job. This is a “Wow, I really, really *want* this job” kind of job.

Remember how that one job I interviewed for fell through? Well, a day or two later, I got a phone call about this position and had a quick phone interview. That went well, so I was invited for an in-person interview last week. That went exceptionally well, and I’ve been about going insane since then, hoping for an offer. I didn’t want to tell many people, though, because it’s just been too much of a rollercoaster. If it didn’t work out, I didn’t want a bunch of people asking if I’d gotten the job.

But now it’s safe to say I’ve got the job. Wooohoo!

It’s a business analyst position, like my last job. It’s a good mix of things that I already know how to do, along with things I will need to learn. I like that. It’s also a really good group of people, including the manager. I feel like a very, very lucky woman indeed.

I’m also a bit stunned. Part of that is going through so much significant change in such a short period of time, and having very little control over that change. I’ve felt such terror at times, but also had to shield myself from feeling a lot of that in order to keep moving. Now that I know where my next paycheck is coming from, I guess I feel safe enough to feel some of the things I didn’t have the luxury of feeling while I was doing what I could to get through this. Kind of like if you are in a car accident and you do what you need to do, and then days later find yourself crying over the close call.

The other part of feeling stunned, though, is also some “survivor’s guilt.” I’m thankful I landed a job, but I know so many people, including some of you who visit here, are still hurting and frightened. I wish there were something I could do to lift that burden. And it’s going to be hard going back to work and not be able to hang out with my layoff buddies. I’ll miss the socializing, but I also know that they’ll miss the support. I’ll still be there for them, of course, but I won’t be able to be there to the same degree since my time will be tied up with work. I’ll worry about them, and I know they’ll feel a bit left behind. It’s how I felt when one of them found a job fairly quickly.

However, I also think that they will find jobs too. They’re good people, and an employer will be very fortunate to snap them up. I do think that things are stabilizing a bit. Although there aren’t many jobs out there right now, there are jobs. They’ll find their way through too.

So I’m in this weird spot of feeling excited, but also holding my breath. I’m glad I have three weeks before I set foot in the door at the new job. I think that will give me some time to get myself sorted out. Plus, there are practical things to take care of like buying clothes. My last employer allowed casual wear. This employer is business professional. I don’t need to wear suits or anything, but I do need nicer things than what I’m used to wearing.

Anyway, thank you to all of you who have expressed your support during this difficult time. I’m fortunate to have connections with many wonderful people, and that’s what matters most in life. I didn’t feel all alone in this, and that made a big difference.

Dang, that’s Harsh

Someone just posted this to a message board I read. It’s a statement on the Department of Homeland Security’s website about how the government intends to deal with travellers who might be sick with the H1N1 flu. It’s the last sentence that’s the kicker:

We’re also actively monitoring travelers at our land, sea, and air ports. We’re watching them for signs of illness, and we have appropriate protocols in place to deal with those who are sick. Precautions are being taken to protect travelers and border personnel. Anyone exhibiting symptoms is being referred to an isolation room where they can be evaluated by a public health official before proceeding to their destruction.

This is obviously a typo. I think.

Chimney Swift Cam in Glenham, NY

I’m not sure if my current readers are aware that I have chimney swifts that nest in my chimney every year. I blogged about them last summer, but that was before I was on wordpress.com. When I first bought this house, there was a screen covering the top of the chimney. However, like everything else in this house, the former owner hadn’t actually *attached* the cover to the chimney. He just set it up there and figured it would stay. He had the same theory with lots of things around here, and it’s a flawed theory.

Anyway, I had the chimney cleaned, and when the guy pushed the brush up the chimney, it knocked the screen off. By then, there was snow on the ground, and I’m not sure I would have decided to go up on the roof to put it back even if the roof were clear and dry. I didn’t know who to hire to do such things for me, either, so I just shrugged and hoped nothing got into my house.

That spring, I was incredibly alarmed when I heard high pitched twittering coming from the base of my chimney, just above the fireplace. The twittering was accompanied by frantic wingbeats. Oh no, I thought, a bird has fallen in there and can’t get out. I couldn’t figure out what to do about it, though, and I was going to miss my bus, so I left for work. When I got home, all was silent. I figured the bird had died. But then I heard the noise again a couple of days later. What the heck?

The mystery was solved when I was outside and saw a swift duck into the chimney. Wow, the twittering I had been hearing was the twittering of baby swifts! At that moment, I realized I couldn’t possibly put the screen back on the chimney ever. Chimney swifts are wonderful birds that eat insects like mosquitoes, and they certainly didn’t seem to be causing any problems for me.

That was eight years ago, and every year, I look forward to the return of the chimney swifts. I’ve always been curious about what’s going on inside my chimney, though, and there just isn’t a good way to see in without disturbing the birds. So last year, I started Googling around and found a web cam in Glenham, New York. The folks there had actually built a tower for their swifts–a large structure in their yard that mimicks a chimney. See, they were doing some work on their house involving the chimney, and they didn’t want to leave the birds homeless. When they put up the tower, they also installed a webcam so you can see the birds.

I just heard from them that the birds have returned to the area, although they have not yet entered the tower to start building the nest. I’m looking forward to watching them again this year, though, and wanted to let my readers know about the cam, which you can find here.

I took some screen captures from last year’s nest, if you’d like to see them here.

If you are interested in other posts that I made about my swifts, and my fear last year that rebuilding my chimney killed the babies, just use the search feature on my blog and put in “chimney swifts.” Fortunately, my birds were just fine, in spite of the construction, thanks to a wonderfully thoughtful chimney builder. I’m looking forward to the return of my birds this year, as well as the opportunity to watch the nest in Glenham!

Congratulations, Julie!

I just learned that a friend of mine, Julie Kramer, has won two awards for her debut novel, Stalking Susan. The first was the Minnesota Book Award for Genre Fiction. The second was The Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Award for Best First Mystery. The competition for these awards is tough, so congratulations, Julie, and well deserved!

Stalking Susan is about television reporter Riley Spartz and her investigation into a series of murders where all of the victims are named Susan. Set in the Twin Cities, the book is well-written and entertaining. One of the things I really loved is that there is no graphic violence. I don’t mind that people are murdered in the book (it’s a mystery, after all). However, I don’t like reading/watching blood spatter everywhere. I don’t read a lot of mysteries because of that, but I picked up Stalking Susan since Julie is a friend. I was glad I did, and there wasn’t anything in it that I found too graphic.

I notice that the paperback is coming out at the end of June, for those on a budget. Julie’s second novel, Missing Mark, comes out in hardback in July. I’m looking forward to it!

Hurry Up and Wait

There is a lull in the job search at the moment–I’m not finding much new to apply for. So I’m in “hurry up and wait” mode, and it’s driving me crazy.

I did have a phone interview with hiring managers last week. Unfortunately, neither they, nor the job posting, nor the HR rep who screened me, mentioned that a critical component of that position is travel. I simply don’t travel for business. It’s too difficult with my food allergies, because I need a kitchen and access to a grocery store. What were they thinking when they wrote the job description? Travel is a dealbreaker for a lot of people, so most employers mention it up front.

Only when I started asking questions did the need for travel get mentioned. From the shocked and utter silence when I told them that I can’t travel, I think it hadn’t occurred to them to screen for this. I was the first candidate they’d spoken with about this position, and it’s new for them to hire someone into the group who will visit customers on site.

So that was utterly disappointing, because up until then, I was very excited about the position. I gave myself one night to feel horrible, and then I let it go. After all, if the job had stated up front that travel was required, I simply wouldn’t have applied. I am no worse off–I didn’t lose something that wouldn’t have been right for me to begin with, right?

In any case, I went to Como Park Conservatory today to get out of the house and think about something other than the job search for a little while. This is the third time I’ve gone there since getting laid off, though, and I’m a little bored with it. So I’ll have to find another inexpensive getaway to amuse myself when I need a break. I did, however, get a lovely picture of this Paradise Tanager, so the visit was worth the $2 donation:

Paradise Tanager

Spring Has Sprung!

I just got in from planting some grass seed in the front yard, and I mean that in a very half-hearted way. I don’t attempt to have a well-manicured lawn, but I do try to have more grass than weeds. So I went out and overseeded some bare spots with grass seed, and worked the seeds into the soil a bit. I’m not likely to water, though. I’ll let mother nature do it’s thing. Or not. So far, we haven’t had much in the way of spring rains.

Yesterday, I went to Lake Maria to take what is becoming an almost-weekly hike. This time, I went down to one of the lakes, and I hung out on the deck for a while. The sun wasn’t just warm–it felt hot while I lay on my back. Kind of like the heat you feel when you open the oven and peer in at whatever you have baking in there. That felt so nice–winter is truly over, I think!

I forgot to bring my binoculars, which is a shame, because there a pair of loons was fishing to one side of the lake. I would have gotten really good views of them with binoculars. I also saw a muskrat swim by. A couple of ducks flew past as well. They definitely weren’t mallards, but I’m not sure what they were. Maybe next week I’ll make it out there *with* binoculars, and I’ll have more specifics to report.

Today while I was out in the yard, robins were singing, and a butterfly flew past. That reminds me–I also saw tree swallows at Lake Maria. They have nest boxes near the office. I’ll have to make a point of trying to photograph them sometime.

Anyway, in addition to doing a bit of yard work, I was also quite domestic this week and finished my hexagon quilt. I put my foot in the picture for scale:

Last night, I ran to the store and bought batting for Random Acts of Kindness, the large quilt that I want to finish up next. If I can get that one done soon and it turns out well, I want to enter it into this year’s State Fair. We’ll see. If the best that happens is that I end up with a nice wall hanging for my home, I’ll be pleased.

I’m glad I did the practice quilt first, though. I learned a couple of things. One is that I want to choose thread colors that blend in with whatever part of the quilt I’m working on. I used white for the entire hexagon quilt, which isn’t bad, but is a bit noticeable in places. Second is that using all polyester batting isn’t the way to go, since it melts if you use too hot an iron on it. That’s why I went out for more batting. What I bought for my larger quilt is a blend of 80% cotton and 20% polyester.

Of course, I did screw up one thing with my big quilt. I’m pretty sure I didn’t wash the fabric before I made the top. So I’m not going to soak the batting either. Hopefully, if I ever need to wash it, it will all shrink about the same amount and it will be okay. Except the pieces on the top go in all sorts of directions, so if it does any significant shrinking, it’s probably not going to be okay. Therefore, my goal is to never wash the piece if I can help it. Live and learn–next time I’ll think to wash first!

Having a Social Life is Wonderful!

Just a quick hello to anyone who is still popping in here. I still don’t have a job, and I still haven’t had any calls from employers in spite of all the applications I’ve sent out. At the end of the month, I’ll toss my resume up on the job sites, since that will draw in recruiters. I’d rather talk directly to employers, but in another month will be willing to consider contract work as well to pad out my income a bit before severance runs out. Once I’m on unemployment, I’ll have to start dipping into savings since unemployment won’t quite cover my basic expenses.

On the upside, having more time and energy means I’m doing a lot more socializing and connecting with friends who I rarely see. I had four people over this afternoon for warm pumpkin bread and conversation and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Tomorrow, I’m going to another friend’s house, and I’m really looking forward to it. Then one of my layoff buddies is coming over on Tuesday. That’s more socializing than I generally do in six months!

The encouraging thing is that I know someone who just found a job. Of course, the same day that employer was in the paper because of their budget problems and pay freezes for the year. But still, it was good to see someone return to the land of the employed. The people who are tossing their resume up for recruiters are getting calls, so that’s the ace up my sleeve.

My main reason for waiting another month is because in addition to socializing, I’ve been getting in shape. I’m making great progress on that front, so it’s worth it to make more progress in another month rather than take any contracts. Since you can’t exactly ask an employer for a couple of months off to exercise, this is my big chance.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is hanging in there too. At least the sun is returning, so that’s a lot to be thankful for right there!

An Early Spring Tale, With Illustrations

An economic upheaval gripped the world, slowing business and bringing darkness to the land. Huddled in her cubicle, a woman shivered and watched, wondering what would become of her. She saw others around her fall, and she wept as the decay spread

and grew

and grew some more.

Finally, the day came when she too was dismissed from her job. “But what is to become of me?’ she said. “I am all alone.”

“That’s not our problem,” came the reply, and the door closed behind her.

She turned and trudged away, feeling hollow inside.

For many years, she had worked hard and done a good job. There was still much work to do, yet there was no money. How could there be no money when there was so much work?

But now there was no work for her, and no money. She went home and slept the long sleep of despair. Despair because no other jobs were there to find; she was turned from every door. The wind pulled at the shingles of her home, and a biting cold made the rafters pop, and it felt for all the world that spring would never come again. A sticky, dark fear gripped her then. A terror so deep that it sucked at the very edges of her soul, pulling her down in a mire that held tight.

“No,” she cried. “No! I don’t want this. I do not want to fall to fear and despair.” She looked around, seeking comfort, but none had any to offer in such terrible times, for they were suffering too. But that’s why we’re suffering, she thought. The fear. It’s the fear that does this to us.

With this knowledge, she soothed herself. Hush child, she thought. Hush. Do not struggle in the mire, or you will only wallow deeper. Look to the future, and hope. Look to the future and hope. So she calmed herself, and as she calmed, a foot found purchase at the edge of the muck, allowing her to walk free.

When she’d cleared the mire, she looked up to see the road. Frozen and hard, it stretched through the woods, and she nearly fell into despair again when she sensed how long it was.

Reminding herself to stay calm, she looked at the road again, only this time, she noticed something. The sun was out, and it felt warm on her face. She stood for a moment, breathing deeply again, and the air did not bite her lungs. Instead it flowed sweetly in and out, sweeping away the stale stench of sorrow. In the distance she heard crows, and the cry of a hawk.

Looking down at the ice, she realized it was starting to melt, unlocking the leaves trapped within.

They’re so pretty, she thought. “But they’re still dead,” she said aloud, and frowned.

She began walking, and soon came across signs of life. Other creatures had crossed this trail before her, creatures who had endured the depths of winter with far less shelter than she had enjoyed. Yet they survived.

The trill of a woodpecker vibrated through the forest. Peering through the trees, she caught a glimpse of him, looking up at the sun, joyful over the return of warmth and food.

Looking down, she saw that the woodpecker wasn’t the only life returning to the land.

And when she stepped back a little, she realized the new growth was spreading, thriving where there had once been destruction.

She smiled, and looked up at the road again. It didn’t seem so long any more.

Being Out of Work is Work

When a friend was laid off a few years ago, I remember her saying she was so busy she didn’t know how she ever had time for a job. Now I know what she meant. The days are just flying by and no sooner do I get up than it’s bedtime again. And no, that’s not because I’m sleeping in. I wake up around 6 or 6:30 most mornings, even though I don’t set my alarm. It’s just that there’s so much I’m involved in.

A typical day means waking up and wandering to the computer in search of work. I cycle through all the job sites looking for new postings. There aren’t lots of them, but they do appear. When they do, I apply. This takes 2-4 hours each morning, depending on what I find. At first it took more time, but now it takes less, because I already have multiple versions of my resume, and plenty of cover letters that I can just tweak a little for re-use.

I also spend some of that time emailing with former co-workers. It’s good to stay in touch, both for company, and because we can help each other land jobs. At some point, some of us will become employed and will help the others find jobs as they open up with our new employers. I worked with some excellent people who I’d love to work with again.

And then I have the rest of the day for living life, so I’ve been doing just that. I sure wouldn’t have chosen unemployment, and certainly not in such a dismal job market. But if I’m going to be caught up in this mess, sitting around moping that there isn’t anything else to apply for on a particular day just isn’t going to do me any good.

I’ve been walking and exercising, because I need to strengthen my body anyway, but it’s hard to find the energy to work out when you’re working, you know? I’ve also been getting together with friends and former co-workers and socializing. This is fun, but it’s also networking for all of us. And then there’s stuff around the house, although I’m not doing as much of that as I thought I would. I’ve also been reading and quilting. In fact, I just finished a quilt top this evening:

Hexagon Quilt

I created this as a sort of sampler to quilt before I start working on my bigger quilt that I posted about a few weeks ago. I need to learn how to stitch in the ditch, as well as how to do bindings.

Anyway, in spite of having found and applied for sixteen jobs since February 28th, I have not had one single call from an employer. I know it’s not me. Two years ago when I was thinking about leaving my last employer, I sent out a bunch of resumes and had about five or six interviews out of about ten or eleven applications. So yes, the job market really is as tight as the news says. Actually, I’m surprised there have been sixteen positions to apply for at all. The catch is that most of them do not actually exist. I’ll get an email hours or days later for some of them, telling me that they have an internal candidate they’ll be hiring, or that they have so many applicants they aren’t considering any more.

It is eerie, because the very employers that had pages and pages of jobs on their websites two years ago now have only a few postings. So things are bad. However, I have severance, and when that runs out I’ll have unemployment. And I can get by for a good long while on those things. I just keep the faith that I *will* find a job if I keep trying. I am a good employee, and I will do good work for my next employer. They might not have the resouces to hire me right now, but things *will* turn around again, and the second they do, they will find they already have my resume in hand.

In the meantime, I’m not spending a lot of time on the net. I didn’t choose to be without work. I would rather have a job. But if I am to go through a stretch of time without work, then I am going to cram a bunch of living in to this time. It would be a shame to waste it. So I still think of all of you, but that’s why I’m not around much. I’m doing well–I’m just not spending much time on the computer except for what I must do to find work. Hope all of you are doing well too!